September 2009 Archives

From the blog, Living in a Pefect World

Together

Reflections of a search without beginning or end. Revolutions of the mind rolling forth endlessly without course or affirmation. Such is the so-called spiritual search. I fear this journey is only ventured to bring oneself to immortality and with such motives, all is lost.

We seek that which eludes our fleeting sight and we fear what we do not understand. As a result, we draw any shred of truth we may realize into the delusion of me and mine. We hope to grasp the whole of existence withing our fragile mortal grip, yet we can not even gain control over our own minds. How weak and ignorant we hvae become.

We are lost as individuals and so we are lost as a community. We stumble forward into this new millenium wiht not a single idea of where we are going. In these degenerate times, most of us refuse to claim any responsibility for our own lives, let alone our cities, states, country or governments. We care not for our planet and we care not for each other We care for only ourselves. We are asleep, trapped in a nightmare that is yesterday and tomorrow.

With this apparent decline of mankind, one hope remains. One last labored breath bleeds air into our lungs and life into our blood. That hope is “now”. Every individual has the potential to change themselves for the better. With this changing (or evolution) of yourself, you can shine new light into the darkness of the world around you. Our only hope is to do it together. Our only hope is “us”. it can be done. I have faith.

Without Fear

Holding steadfast, I am a captive frozen in reliance on the suffering of my life. After all without my sadness, anger and fear who would I be? What would be left to signify my difference to the rest of the sheep. I am not a passenger on this boat. Those days are gone.

I am the ferryman crossing the river Styx only to land upon the shore of perpetual torment and dispair. My futur is filled with the revival of that moment in consecutive order indefinitely. I have come too far to turn back now. I thirst but I cannot drink. I hunger but I dare not eat. The shadows have sustained me forever and a day and I long no more for the return of the light.

My place is here, huddled in teh cold damp darkness of purgatory, relieving those who can no longer bear the cross of fear and hatred alone. I do what I can to help because I have realized that I am no different than any one of them. We are all connected. Including those of you who have labeled us beyond redemption, judged us by the illusions of your own adverse conceptions and cast us into the fires of hell

Don't worry. Your heeaven will be there to accept you despite the afflictions of morality that you keep hidden behind your Bible in your closet and under your bed. I have no contempt for your existence and I was not sent to judge you. Such a thing is beyond any man's qualifications.

Your judgement will come in the end from the shocking realization of your own righteous lack of compassion and forgiveness for your fellow man. It will come from your failure to put others before yourself. It will spring forth from your own selfish heart, crushing your beneath it's weight. I will weep for you i nthat hour, but I will not share your fate. For he who once fell has risen and each time I stumble, crashing back to the earth from whence I came, I will rise again stronger than before.

I push on with renewed dedication to my struggle for redmeption and for all that I have taken. I can only hope for a little more time to do some good in this world. I make the promise to greet the remaining seasons of this life without fear. After what I have endured I know that this is a promise I am fully capable of keeping. Can you say the same?

Jeheshua.

Making A Choice

All of my life, I have been a prisoner. the only difference today is that I am a prisoner of the state. My incarceration has taught me many lessons about life, loss and the inner workings of my own mind. After all, inside these walls you have plenty of time tp get acquainted with your thoughts and feelings. This is apparently so for all of us and I think the problem with most prisoners is that once they open that door they don't like what they find . I know I didn't at first.

When you are in a place like this, you strive to stay busy to avoide your ill-begotten fate. But once you have exhauseted all the means of distraction at your disposal, you inevitably are left alone in silence. This is when you are confronted by the demons of your past. Late, after all the lights have gone out, you find that you can hide from yourself no longer and you are presented two choices. You can either do as you have always done and run from the truth or you can seek an end to your suffering.

I chose the latter of the two. I am tired of running and I am fed up with the suffering of life. I must seek an answer. For too long, I hvae tried to be the person I believe otehr people wanted me to be. It is time to be " the truth"

I have realized that the truth is not conttained in any concept or code of conduct. Truth is natural and it is what's let when all the "bull-sh**" has been washed away. It is one with every sensation that is woven tightly into the fabric of this moment which is endlessly unfolding in a perpetual state of change.This change must be understood to be beyond our control

Life itself is so much more complete when one relinquishes the inclination to impose their weill up ous. In allowing and observing the natural flow of life, its' beauty is effortlessly displayed withing every passing breath and in understanding this fact. Looking at life, its' totality (and all that encompasses it) you need not struggle any longer.. you are already free.

There are many questions asked by people of all walks of life. there are questions about the spirit; questions about the association of body and mind; and there are even questions about our very existence in this world of shadows and dust.

n the wake of all these questions you may find many speculations and beliefs based in the largest part on faith but there have truly been no concrete answers as of yet. I do not believe that our spiritual search is hopeless. I just believe we are asking the wrong questions.

Who or what is God? Is there a God-- and if so, what does he look like? My stand-point on that subject is "does it really matter?". What could we do with that information that we can't do right now?

To me questions of this nature are standing in our way. They are questions that are rooted in the fundamentally flawed psychological framework of our poisoned minds. In attempting to definie what God is, we also define what God is not. We seem to be pulling out all the stops when it comes to rationaliziing what is beyond all boundaries of concept contained within human intellect.

When I look closely I can put aside all questions except one. The question I speak of is a quewstion that I fear can only be asked and answered out of context. It can be asked in absence of words because this question stretches back to a place and time before language was established. Honestly, I think the question should never be asked by anyone who is not ready because they may not like what the answer is.

The one question that would bring us all to a place of total enlightenment -- should it be answered-- is "who am I?". Through all of my investigation concerning this question, I hvae come to a very shocking realization. That realization is that "I" am not, "I" never have been and "I" never will be . The basis for who I am is a merre imputation. "I" is simply a lable for the association between body and mind. As deeply as I seaerched to find a center from which all thought has its' origins, I still lacked a solid point I could call "me".

the world we know is one of thought. It is a world constructed of language based on discriminations. The sky is such because it was born in the mind. It's basis exists in a conventional sense but it is always changing and because of that non-permanent state, it is not truly an existant.

In the same way we see ourselves as truly existing and as such permanent entities. This is the reason we hvae created what we call a soul. The soul was created for the purpose of our limited view of self living on for an eternity. I do not believe that when "i" die, I will move on. yes, I do believe that there is energy that moves on-- an essence if you will, but I don't see it as a soul. The self was created from a conscious faculty of mind that is governed by language. When this body dies, I believe this self will die as well. In my next life, I will be someone or something totally different. The person that I call Jeheshua is only a samll piece of the entire conscious entity inhabiting this body. you would know that entity as God, but only becasue your concept of the ultimate is as such.

Some of you may see this as insane; others will see it as blasphemy-- but only because your hearts and minds are closed. Why am I wrong? What makes your view correct? Why does the difference in our beliefs anger you so much? Truly ask yourselves these questions. Open your hearts and minds to the possibility that you are not who you think you are. Truly ask yourself the question, "who am I?"

.Jeshesua

ARE YOU READY?

Scattered pieces or our lives pass before us, among us and all around us. But even against such odds, we never give up hope. There are those that believe we are born to suffer for original sin. I believe we are born for so much more. Each and every one of us is born to find the end of suffering within our lives. We are not born to remain imprisoned. We are born to realize freedom.

This life is a test, not of some divine being, but of ourselves-- a rite of passage created by , ventured through and observed withing our own subtle consciousness to solve the unsolveable problem. To answer the unanswerable questions, to process life itself, mapping out its' ever twist and turn and in the end to finally realize that an answer does not exist. The journey is where the beauty of all wisdom lies, not the destination.

It is the greatest paradox we face in this life and it must be overcome. So simple yet so difficult to realize. Our true nature lies in the wait for us to awaken to its' wonder-- and it lies in total opposition to everything we believe. In reaching forward to grasp the truth, we lose hold of the only thing that really matters-- life itself.

Over the span of our lifetimes from birth to the present, we have learned so many things. We have been conditioned to the point of suffocation. Our minds are trapped within themselves and we must now learn to swim or we will drown.

There is not one of us who can lead another to freedom. I can show you the doorway but you must cross the threshold alone. What lies on the other side is that which you fear the most, the truth of who you are. It is what you have been running from all of your life.

On a daily basis we agaonize over the past and we worry about the future. We are never truly present in our lives. This is where our first transgression occurs. The true beauty of existence lies within this moment and if you blink,it is gone forever. Awareness is the key to totality and embedded within totality the essence of freedom breathes, vibrates and surges through each moment of complete purity.

All things are pure by nature. It is the duality-stricken mind which poisons life through its' attempt to impose its' will upon it. When this wil is defied,the friction of aversion produces anger, greed, and resentment. At the onset of these feelings, we react in concurrence with our habit to do so. And we lose our balance of mind in a flash of blind fury. There is a way to interrupt this cycle, but you must be determinded to accomplish its' practice.

First, you must purify your actions so that you create no new friction in your life. then you must learn the art of concentration. Finally you must gain insight through observing your delusions and weeding them out, bringing stillness to the mind and finding peace. Meditation is not an escape from our problems. It is the means to understanding them.
Once the problem is understood, it can be corrected. To fully function, we must bring our meditation into our daily lives. When our practice is balanced, our minds will gain balance, our lives will be pure. At this time we will be free.

Are you strong enough to take this path of boundless seeing? I can show you the way as it was taught to me, if the way is what you seek, but you must venture it alone. The journey belongs to you. You will find strength in awareness, right understanding , and purity; but you wil must only take refuge in your own experience.

Are you ready?

Perfection

I perceive only a reflection not a life arising in absence of my own volition. And as I watch it pass before my eyes of he who I have labeled as myself, I lift my sight to gaze upon its’ outer shell. I am no one, and these grandiose visions of myself are so abundantly trivial.

In the face of al that has been, is, and will ever be my life, is but a single blinking of the eyes. I am here, and then I am gone; to have lived but never existed.

I live in absence of time’s cruel grasp. Born of the past, dwelling in the present, and nurturing the future. I am an anomaly, an effect of so many interdependent causes and I am the cause of so many things to come. I was born to accomplish so much more than that which would be dictated by my own selfish concerns, yet sadly I have been conditioned all of my life to ignore such truth.

I have been poisoned— poisoned into the belief that this world and everything it contains exists solely for the benefit of me. This process of conditioning was slow and systematic and its’ cure will take a great deal of time and effort to apply.

I have not reached the end of this journey. However, I am quite positive that I am on the correct path. I navigate the path by way of natural experience, treading upon shadows and dust in hopes of realizing who this stranger— I call myself— truly is.

With love and compassion for all life and a peaceful faith in these moments of beauty that are ever-changing right before my eyes, I walk the line. My hope is to gain total awareness of each and every changing moment so that I will understand them in the greater scheme of existence… so that I will understand them for what they truly are— just a doorway to perfecting freedom of the mind.

Jeheshua

Living in a Perfect World: presents another commentary from “A Voice from the Inside!”

A Better Today

Inflicting pain upon another is really inflicting pain onto yourself. In fact, any pain inflicted with harmful intent wounds all of us because a ripple effect has been perpetually projected outward. Our reality is of this nature for the simple yet profound reason that our deluded minds are as such.

Every happening is born of a cause, so we must inevitably endure what we have previously created. It is a basic law of nature. This is truth in its’ rawest form. There are no victims in this world except those who are blind to reality; because once you truly learn to see, you are a victim no longer. Once the blindfold has been removed, all that remains of suffering is the transparent nature of it’s’ feedback and as the shackles of aversion are unlocked, we are free once more to see our lives for what they are— beautiful.

Day after day, we search in vain for meaning beyond what we can see or or touch. And day after day, we are left feeling empty inside. We seek to grasp that which can not be held within our hands. We strive to sustain a hold on that which we possess and we suffer as a result of our ever-changing world.

We are lost and alone because of ignorance. We remain in bondage not because we are without sight, but because we refuse to open our eyes. The dreams for which we hunger are ours for the taking, if we would only surrender the notion to hold onto something which could never be constant.

We are truly free— here in this very moment. All that is required of us is a little less knowledge and a little more wisdom. All that we need do is treat life with respect; open our hearts to the needs of the many; and open our minds to a better tomorrow through creating a better today.

Jeheshua