December 2009 Archives

IT'S FUNNY

Raining in the mind. Who or what gives us the idea that we are capable of controlling that which governs our lives? How do you use the mind to control the mind? It is impossible! One will reach certain madness before any perfection can be attained. In fact, I believe if perfection of wisdom were ever truly reached it would cause a breakdown in the system of existence itself. If anyone were to fully realize their infinite power of divinity it would cause all of existence to cease.

The dream we now live in is a self sustaining one and we are all key players in its ongoing cycle. Not only that, but I believe, without a doubt , that we are its' creator. Our concepts of reality are not only side effects of its occurrence, they are the cause of reality itself. One could not perceive itself within itself as a result, one created division. Once division was created relation between two or more objects rendered very much information, but the one (or "none" as would have it) lost consciousness of itself and was blinded by the dream it had created.

Now here trapped in this cell, this illusion of emptiness, we are all called home. Though most of us don't hear nor understand the true meaning of the screams for attainment that well up from within. We attempt to fill this bottomless pit with material possessions and worldly pleasures. We do not see beyond this veil of negative existence. Some hear the screams and form them into an idol of worship. I am not that type at all. I do not see an answer. I don't even understand the question. All I know is nothing at all. There is not enlightenment in this world because the very nature of dwelling in this world negates such a possibility. You can't light a match under water!

The realization of that fact is all we could ever hope to reach but only a fool would ever hope for more . Only a fool would fail to see the humor in it all.

Jeheshua

What's your "perfect world"?
LPW

How Many

Since 2004, I have been a prisoner and for good reason. I was convicted of two counts of Aggravated Involuntary Manslaughter, for the taking of two innocent lives in a drunk driving accident. I was sentenced and remanded to a prison within the United States Department of Corrections. My earliest possible release will be not be for several years.

As on who has carried the burden of his actions, I understand all too well what I have taken. I have hurt so many people by my ignorance that early morning in the summer of early 2002. For what I have taken I am indebted, not just to the families of my victims, but to all of humanity. I cannot fix what I have done. It is beyond any man to change his past, but my future is another story.

It is for that future that I now write. Every so often I come across a news story about a fatal car crash that involved somebody like me. Every time I wonder 'could that have been the one that I prevented?'

There are so many young ignorant kids out there who are either unable or unwilling to acknowledge the fact that their actions have consequences. They are unable or unwilling to see the fact that what they do affects others as well. I believe with all of my heart that my story could help to open their eyes, but in my current state, I am unable to reach them.

There are a few things that judges, lawmakers and the general public need to know about most people who commit this type of 'crime'. This crime is not one which is motivated by malice. Buy the very wording of the charge itself...involuntary etc....one would assume that this concept was a given. Yet despite a persons lack of intention, life is still lost. Our purpose as a society should not be to punish the ignorant, but to insure that this doesn't happen in the future.

You have to understand that nobody is afraid of going to jail for a DUI. How many people are killed by drunk drivers each year, how many are convicted and thrown into prison and how much does the rate of fatal DUI accidents differ as a result of those prison sentences? You cannot train a dog by constantly beating him. Fear has never bee, is not and never will be the answer to this problem.

The answer is awareness. The answer is in the enlightening of ignorant minds by using the life experience of those who have been through an ordeal like my own. Victims and offenders need to come tighter and use their collective stories to open the eyes of a public that believes, much like I once did, that this is something that happens and to other people.

As long as people believe that they are in control of their own lives and that they are above this type of occurrence, they will never fear the law. Why fear a prison sentence for something which could not possibly happen to you? How does anyone learn the consequences if nobody is there to teach them?

I was 21 years old and I was on top of the world. Nothing could touch me. I could make it home. Why not? I'd done it so many times before. I am them! I'm your child! Don't you see? Tougher sentences are not the answer. We have to reach the hears and minds of these people by showing them how much pain one mistake can cause. Prison time has not hurt me in the ways that I thought it would. I can deal with living without for a while, but how many people can live without my story and stories like it. Just like the two victims who perished , how many innocent people will die because someone like myself never got to hear a story that could have changed their lives forever" ?

How Many?


Jeheshua

What's your "perfect world"?
LPW

Manipulation -- part 2

Many people steal, rob, and manipulate to get by. That is just the nature of prison. We are just victims of our environment. To most people who live outside, we deserve everything we get because " let's face it, we are criminals". . I mean we are different aren't we? Then again, maybe we are all the same.

Aren't our prisons just a reflection of our society's biggest flaws ? In reality, a chin is only as strong as its' weakest link . The problem isn't truly crime and criminals. The real problem is the necessities and traits that create crime and criminals. The real problem is poverty. We can't just lock everyone up and hope they are rehabilitating themselves. We have to help them. We have to realize that prisoners are no different than citizens. We all lie, manipulate and steal to a certain degree. If your survival depended on how well you could manipulate another human being, you would become very good at it.

People sell drugs to feed their families. In return, addicts lie, cheat and steal to feed their addiction. These problems no longer belong to criminals alone. They belong to us all as one nation as one world. Our culture is falling apart because we have become so selfish and insecure that we would build our lives on the failures of others. . We take advantage of each other. I am a criminal, but the guy on Wall Street who just embezzled 2 billion dollars is a hero. We hurt each other everyday and our children see us do it. What do you think they will do when given the chance.

As a nation, we can fix this, but we need to stop looking at what everyone else is doing wrong and start looking in the mirror. I have accepted responsibility for my actions and I am doing my best to steer my ever-changing life in a better direction.

What about you?

Jeheshua.

What's your "perfect world"?
LPW

Manipulation

When I was housed at a major institution, I thought that I had seen it all, I thought that I had encountered every dirty, underhanded trick, ever crooked angle and heard every possible lie in existence, but I was wrong, Now, here at a road-camp for low security level prisoners, I must endure more. So very different in appearance, this place is still so very much the same.

Everything about this place differs but only on the surface. When it comes right down to it ,most people that I have met are all right , but there are those who play games. They will try to befriend you--not because they think you are funny or because you have things in common, but because they are in need of your help (so to speak). They are either broke, scared or they believe that they can manipulate you into making their situation better.

There are a few different approaches. Let's start at the top. One way is to lend you something when you first arrive so that when they ask for your assistance later on, you will feel obligated. Another way is the old "poor me" scam. (This is the one that is the hardest to spot if done correctly). They have soup, but if they only had crackers or if they have soup and crackers, but if only they had some cheese. Then they have soup, crackers and cheese but if only they had a soda. The good ones never actually ask for anything. They just subtly imply and because of your pity, you give what you can.

There are many different ways to use another human being but in the end, the result is always the same. The people who do these things are actors (very good ones at that)They are your friends and associates up until the moment that you find out the truth and for many it is too late. After all, this is a prison and there is not much room for mistakes.

Jeheshua

What's your "perfect world"?
LPW

Enlightenment

"What is real? What is dreamt? And what, my friends, is the difference? "

When I was growing up, the passing moments of my life seemed so trivial. They seemed to be so unimportant and as a result I never paid much attention to the changes that I imposed upon the world around me-- the world that sustained me. The world that I would one day help destroy.

Now with my world so utterly reased from existence by my own hand, I am force to live in someone else's world. I am force to live someone else's lies. I am force to follow someone else's rules and there is no one to blame for this current state of affairs except myself.

So with all of this established, I guess the only remaining question would be , "what now?" Do I rebel or do I make the best of what I have? I struggle to ask myself that question everyday. I struggle to ask it so that I will never forget what is at stake. Things like my sanity, my freedom, and my true place in this jigsaw puzzle called life.

I have realized that I can no longer live in the wake of my past mistakesThat life that has passed is no longer viable. It is no more tangeable than the dreamscape plot of a Sunday afternoon nap. In opposition, I have recognized I can no longer feed upon daydreams of a future that has yet to be written.

What has happened is gone and what will be will be . the only truth left is now. Here in this moment, I can find freedom, Here in this moment, I can let go of the prejudice that keeps me frozen still in a world of constant change. Here and now life's imperfect beauty is pure. Here is where we realize that perfection lies in our ability to understand that it doesn't exist. Now is when we finally see that our flaws are our greatest source of hope, and to see and realize those two truths is the very basis of a spiritual life. In fact, I would call it enlightenment.

Jeheshua

GODS

anyone who struggles will adapt and grow. That is a natural law. The trick is the correct amount of the pressure in the right area to reap the required results. Growth is a good thing when one grows in the right direction.

All roads will eventually lead to the same destination. However soem travelers will reach that destination much sooner and with less scrapes and bruises . If one reaches a state of harmony with their true will then they will be in harmony with the surrounding universe. And if they abide in such harmony then they will transend any accepted concept of pain and suffering.

If any instance of suffereing is taken as a mere feedback and used for the sole purpose oflearning from that particular moment of life experience then every future moment of apparent pain and suffereing will be transformed into a direct cause of enlightenment.

The key is to let go of the urge to esacpe situations that we perceive as a trheat to our ego selves and to embrace all of life wholeheartedly. We must take hold of the wheel and steer our selvesto freedom. Your demons are just as much a part of you as your God is. If you attempt to deny the influx of the realization into your lifethanyou debase the most basic law of our existence. Without darkenss there can be no light. Without evil, how would we know good and without pain, we could never fully grown into the Gods that we were meant to become.

Jeheshua

What's your "perfect world"?

LPW

Do Nothing

In obscuring truth, word after word we as conscious beings, remain bound to sufferring by our concepts. Truth is not contained within the narrow constructs of language itself. Through a voice or pen and paper only a representation of what is actual can be manifested. Preoccupied by the reflectiion of reality, we allow life's beauty to escape unobserved. We become distracted by the pointing finger and fail to see the radiance to which it points. In seeing we are made blind and in knowing our ignorance is secured.

Enlightenment is an ongoing process, not a final goal. There is no attainment to be sought, no levels of completiion and no progress to be graded. There is no end to the journey. There is not even a path to be followed. There is only the realization of essential nature to be uncovered. What is called enlightenment is already present. It is our true nature. It is not "out there somewhere" . It is right here, right now and when realized, it is as a candle being lit, washing away the darkness. Enlightenment is effortless and displayed in this very moment. All that need be done is to do nothing.

What's your "perfect world"?
LPW

Lost Dreams

As the waxing hours of the morning turn into sunlight upon a distant horizon, I am here-- alone-- in my bed area. It is silent and yet around me, they are breathing solftly and as they sleep , they are dreaming. They are dreaming of freedom, a better place to exiast, a place so many long for, a place that not a one of us are that close to. They are dreaming of home.

I once experienced such dreams, . Now when I close my eyes there is nothing. This other world-- created by the mind-- has all but vanished without hope of return. I somtimes wonder if this lack of mental escape is a sign, a prelude to the realization ofmadness that I am inevitably inching towards.

My questions are many and my answers are so very few. I watch, awaiting harmony up the path which I believe I freely willed from the beginning. Yet at every turn on this road , I find only chaos. I cannot say that life is all a mystery for there are many lessons that I have learned along the way. I have had a great number of teachers but none more prevalent than death.

I have taken life and as a result, I will never be the same. I was forever changed by the event of that night and for my actions I am indelibly carry this weight with me always-- but you wouldn't know it. for a man's burden in life is not always displayed upon his face like paint on a canvas.

some of us have refined the spectacle of our personal torment so that what was once thunderous roar is now little more than a whisper which trembles aloft a summer night's breeze. It shames us in silence and leaving us with tears of solitude streaming down our faces.

Our pain is our own and though it appears to be gone to the naked eye it lingers on-- haunting us from teh grave. Such is fate but I accept that fate and would not change a single day as it ocurred if given the chance. If I did, I would lose the wisdom that those events produced and I have a strange feeling that I will need such knowledge for the future that lies ahead.

Jeheshua

What's your "perfect world"?
LPW